


Wraiths and Witches

by xxDecretumxx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Crack, F/F, F/M, Momoe Nagisa deserved better, Post-Post Rebellion Story, Post-Rebellion Story, Sort Of, Why are Madokami and Homucifer not tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxDecretumxx/pseuds/xxDecretumxx
Summary: The Holy Quintet, back again to deliver justice! Except they're made up of a cheese witch, a mermaid, a gluttonous delinquent, a headless saint, and a deceitful devil. Maybe, just maybe, with the help of a goddess they can solve the mystery surrounding Hogwart's 'Mad-Eye Moody' and the tournament taking place. Or will they be too focused on one-upping the other schools and progressing through the tournament? And will the devil's strained relationship with the cheese witch and mermaid result in their fatal demise?(Takes place post-post Rebellion. Knowledge of Magia Record is not particularly important.)
Relationships: Akemi Homura/Kaname Madoka, Akemi Homura/Madokami, Akemi Homura/Tomoe Mami, Miki Sayaka/Sakura Kyouko, Momoe Nagisa/Yusa Yumeno, kyoko sakura/mami tomoe (past)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So when I say 'Post-post Rebellion', what I mean is that it's after Madokami has reunited with Madoka Kaname and Homura's fake world has been destroyed. 
> 
> But that doesn't mean Homucifer lost her powers.
> 
> She still has the part of the Law of Cycles within her, but the rest of it has reunited with Madoka. That means Madoka cannot be with them, though Nagisa and Sayaka are. Mami and Kyoko remember very little here, though it may be more than they seem to.
> 
> I feel like saying anymore would give away major plot points, so the rest will be in End Notes.

“A school for magic,” Homura Akemi deadpanned, her expression flat and unassuming. She ripped the scroll out of Mami Tomoe’s hands to read it herself. “Oh. Wow. That’s… really what it says.”

“What did you assume?” Mami haughtily drew herself up, a smirk playing on her lips. She snatched the scroll back. “It got delivered by way of owl.”

“Are you serious?” scoffed Kyoko Sakura, reclining on Mami’s floor. “Like, the bird?”

“Yes,” sighed Mami, holding her head in hands. “An owl, of all things.”

“But, like,” began Kyoko, “why not a pigeon? Owls sleep during the day! It’s impractical as hell.”

“Perhaps,” Mami mused. “Still, the point stands. This magic school, Hogwarts, is inviting us to participate in their magic competition. Now, I gathered everyone here today in order to ask what you would like to write back.”

“So, we’re having a vote?” Kyoko scrunched up her brow. “There’s five of us here, so you’ll vote, too?”

“Yes,” the blonde scornfully retorted. “Nagisa and I choose to stay. We don’t know who these people are, and it’s unsafe to leave this city at the mercy of wraiths.”

“This is a once-in-a-chance opportunity,” Kyoko pointed out.

“And I can always call some Kamihama girls to take over for us in the meantime,” Sayaka added, taking out her phone and scrolling through contacts.

“Well, it’s still three to two,” sighed Mami, poised to rip the scroll in half. Homura gave her a glare and took the scroll back. “Akemi?”

“We’re going,” the brunette flatly stated. “Did you assume that I wouldn’t want to?” She turned over the page and began to write.

“Well, I mean--”

“Too bad. I’m more than happy to go.” She handed the paper back to Mami. “You’ll be our headmaster. Sign your name here.” The senior magical girl took the paper with obvious apprehension. 

“But we aren’t even a magic school!” she protested.

“Too bad,” was her stiff answer. Mami tried to stare Homura down, but eventually relented and signed her name with a flourish. Golden letters burned into the paper, and she rolled it back up.

“Nagisa, please get the owl,” were her only words as she tied it up with a ribbon. The white-haired girl stood to fetch the barnyard owl that had been sent to them. 

“This is gonna be awesome!” cheered Kyoko. “This next school year will be amazing.”

“School!” gasped Sayaka. “What--what should we--” Homura gave her a look.

“I’ll solve that problem,” she promised. Sayaka shot her a worried look, but dissented.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” she said, standing. “I’ll go help Nagisa.” That was a lie, of course, but Homura let her go.

“So when do we leave?” yawned Kyoko, sprawling out across the floor once again. Mami began to speak, but Homura interrupted her.

“Sometime in October. The exact date is yet to be set.” Kyoko nodded.

“Fair enough.” 

“Here’s the owl, Mami!” Predictably, Nagisa came back alone, without Sayaka. The blue-haired girl was probably conflicted, curling up into a ball in Mami’s room and remembering. She’d come around.

The blonde girl placed the scroll in the owl’s grip. The bird flew out the open window, clutching the paper with its talons.

“Akemi,” Mami solemnly stated, her golden eyes burning a hole in the back of the brunette’s head. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“As do I,” replied the time traveller, making her way to the door. “Goodbye, Tomoe. See you tomorrow.”

-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
The group of magical girls departed on the 30th of October at 8. The second letter had asked for them to arrive in the manner most befitting them. Nagisa wanted to ride in on Charlotte. Sayaka wanted to rise up from a whirlpool. Kyoko wanted to fly down from the heavens.

They took a plane.

Or, rather, Homura created a plane. Kyoko and Nagisa wanted to hijack a plane, but Mami and Sayaka were against it, and they couldn’t pay for a ride. Then the brunette led them to a runway which didn’t exist before where a plane which never was stood. Sayaka and Nagisa were reluctant to get on, but they got on mainly by Kyoko and Mami’s promptings. 

“A plane flight from Japan to England typically takes twelve hours,” Sayaka pointed out, holding up her phone. “How do you plan to get there by 6?” Homura, sitting in the pilot’s seat, turned around.

“I thought we had to get there by 9.” She turned forward again. “No helping it, I suppose. We’ll have to go quickly, then.”

“Akemi?” Mami’s voice took on an edge of panic. “Akemi, don’t you dare--”

Their screams died away as the plane sped up, past the realistic speed limit. They traveled as a smidgen on the horizon over stream and dale. Forests passed in streaks of green.

“I’m going to throw up, Akemi!” Kyoko clutched her armrest while fishing for a plastic bag. Nagisa, who sat next to the redhead, looked terrified and searched with two-fold energy.

“We’re here,” the black-haired girl announced, stepping out just in time to get vomit all over her shoes. “Ugh.” 

“It’s 10,” snarked Nagisa, holding up her phone. “We didn’t mean for you to get us there in a sixth of the time.” Homura shrugged while transforming to her school uniform, which all but Kyoko wore anyway.

“All this means is more time for us to explore,” she calmly stated. “I don’t believe most of us have ever been outside of Japan.”

Sayaka raised her head. 

“I sense a wraith.” The five girls exchanged glances and stormed out of the plane.  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-

It was 5:55 when they arrived at the school in a transformed state. Sayaka was splattered with ink which she hadn’t time to wash off, and Mami’s yellow outfit was painted with greens and blacks.

“I didn’t expect the wraith to attack like that,” she mused, touching her head gently. “I have a headache. I knew this was a terrible idea.”

“Oh, quit whining,” Kyoko sighed, exasperated. 

“Easy for you to say. You don’t have paint splattered all over you.” Kyoko glared and made to retort, but a hand on her shoulder stopped the redhead.

“We need a plan,” was Homura’s stern beginning. “In five minutes we will gloriously arrive, covered in (a disdainful look at Mami and Sayaka) ink and paint. This cannot happen.”

“It’d be a disgrace!” Nagisa chimed in. 

“We’re going to have to make quite an entrance to make up for it,” was Homura’s follow up. Sayaka tentatively raised a hand.

“Uh, Akemi? There’s another wraith.” The brunette girl sighed.

“What do English magical girls do around here…”  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-

It was 6:30 when the five girls stormed into the Great Hall. The headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, seemed unphased even when seeing the blood in Nagisa’s hair (which, to be fair, was only there because Mami had accidentally smacked her in the head with a gun), the water drenching Homura (she had fallen into the lake), the thick layer of dust covering Kyoko and causing her to habitually sneeze (there wasn’t any good excuse for this one), and the shade of lilac Mami had become due to the paint dumped over her by the wraith. However, he did have to stifle laughter as he introduced them.

“And this is the fourth school competing in the tournament… Mayo Sludge?”

“Huh?” Mami telepathically communicated to Homura. 'I thought you put ‘Magical Girls’ as our school name?'

'My English isn’t the best, okay?' hissed Homura. 'It sounded okay!'

'We can automatically translate!' Mami glared out of the corner of her eye. '‘Mayo Sludge’? What the hell?'

“Seems like this can’t get much worse,” mumbled Sayaka, elbowing Kyoko in the side.

“Since we did not previously get to see where you’d stay,” loudly proclaimed Dumbledore, turning to them, “should I know in case you need some supplies?” The five girls froze.

“O-our accommodations?” stammered Mami.

“Yes, where you’ll be staying for the duration of this school year,” he patiently demanded. “Beauxbatons has their carriage, and Durmstrang a boat. I assume you did something to that effect?” They swallowed.

'Don’t you dare, Homura,' warned Sayaka telepathically.

'It’s fine, Homura, we can let ourselves be shone up this once. Or, well, twice. Or maybe for the third time. But don’t do it.' Nagisa was of the same mind.

“Our accommodations?” Homura’s voice was sickeningly sweet.

'You devil!' screamed Sayaka. Homura shot a vicious glare at the bluenette before turning back to Dumbledore.

“A boat? A carriage? That’s nothing.”

'Homura…' warned Mami, an edge to her voice.

“For what we have… is a whole city.” Piece by piece, Homura’s false city began to build itself within the Great Hall. The space before her rippled and expanded, simultaneously existing as a few inches and as an entire world. “Excuse us.” She smashed the creation into bits with the palm of her hand. “We’ll be going to eat.” Devilishly smirking, she led the way to the emptiest table, the Ravenclaw table, and promptly sat. “My school looks forward to competing with yours.”


	2. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Holy Quinet attempts to attend Hogwarts classes. The champions are also chosen.

“So, what’s our schedule like?” Nagisa first broached the question to the Headmaster, who frowned at her exclamation.

“Well, I suppose your headmaster will teach you during the day. You can join us for meals, of course.” Mami started.

“Aren’t we… attending classes with you?” She furrowed her brow. “I can hardly do as good a job when teaching in a strange place, you know.”

“Well, there’s always the library--” Sayaka snorted.

“That’s ridiculous!” She threw her hands up in the air. “We have schooling to do, as well. If this is how it’s going to be, then we might as well go home.” Dumbledore looked back and forth, beginning to panic.

“I suppose,” he slowly began, “I suppose I can try and organize something with the teachers.” Sayaka grinned.

“‘S more like it.” Dumbledore raised his hands humbley.

“I’ll see if the other schools also want to try and organize something similar.” Kyoko gave him a thumbs up. “I must say, this is--”

“Great feast!” called Sayaka as the five dippasitated, entering the fake city. “Looking forward to it tomorrow!” 

Dumbledore sighed,

0o0

“Are you going to apply?” On the fifth day, the test through which contestants would be chosen was revealed. Sayaka addressed her teammates, whose expressions at the announcement varied from amused to confused. Nagisa was the first to reply.

“Of course!” she affirmed. “Imagine how much cheese I could buy with that sort of money.” She went off into ruminations.

“I suppose so,” sighed Homura. “If the challenges are dangerous, I am best suited for them.” She frowned. “This whole thing seems rather thrown together. I dislike it.”

“Well, I’d be a good fit, too!” exclaimed Sayaka. “I can heal myself super quick. Even you can’t compare, Akemi.” The Ravenclaw members (the five had taken to sitting at the same table every day) shied away.

“Hmph. I doubt it.” Sayaka scowled.

“Kyoko!” she declared. “I don’t want to sit with her anymore.”

“Then I’ll leave as well,” calmly stated Homura, beckoning for someone to follow. Nagisa took the incentive, and they strode to the Slytherin table. Sayaka and Kyoko sat at the Gryffindor table, as far away as possible.

Mami sighed.

“I’ve talked it over with the teachers.” Dumbledore approached Mami in the hallways as she headed back from the library to the Great Hall, where her friends were situated for the time being. “It seems Beauxbatons will join you, though Durmstrang prefers to stay to themselves.”

“That’s great.” Mami gave him a warm smile. “I look forward to it. In Japan, we have a much… different form of magic, so it’ll be interesting to learn about your types of magic.”

“As I am excited to learn of yours,” replied Dumbledore, a twinkle in his eye. “I shall watch over your Transfiguration class with Minerva.”

o0o

“Take out your wands, everyone!” yawned the Professor, It was the crack of dawn, and the greying woman did not seem happy about having to teach a class. “Today, we’ll be turning our desks into hedgehogs.”

“So this is--what, woodworking class?” Sayaka whispered to Mami. 

“Wands?” asked Kyoko. The professor gave her a Look.

“Yes, wands,” she impatiently harped. “Come on. I have class in an hour.” Kyoko shrugged and slipped her soul gem off her finger.

“I think she means this,” she telepathically communicated with her friends. The others followed suit as the Beauxbatons watched in silence.

“Now--flick your wand--move your wrist like so--that’s right, miss…”

“Gracie Oussa,” the Beauxbot girl giggled.

“Then class, follow Miss. Oussa’s lead.” 

The magical girls had already stopped paying attention and were attempting their own methods.

Homura vanished from the classroom. Nagisa had the desk surrounded with a haze of orange light. A hedgehog made up of ribbons (though one could not tell) rested on Mami’s desk. Kyoko relaxed, leaning back and eating Pocky. Sayaka had the desk encased in a bubble of water.

“Good gracious!” gasped the professor. “Miss, uh--” she wildly waved at Sayaka, “--put that desk down. You! Stop lying about. Headmistress Tomoe, why is there a hedgehog and a desk?” Mami begrudgingly turned the hedgehog back into ribbons which fell on the ground in heaps. “Miss--” Nagisa’s desk popped out of existence, and a Pyotr appeared. “Get that out of here.” Nagisa pouted but smashed her minion into pieces. “And where is the brunette girl?”

Homura reappeared with a stack of lumber. She dropped it on the ground with a magnificent crash. 

“What are you doing?” Dumbledore intervened, whipped up into a frenzy. “No--don’t--” Homura surrounded the pieces of wood with a gentle violet glow. The pieces began to connect, and a wooden hedgehog appeared, it’s body filling the classroom.

“One second,” the black-haired girl whispered. Nagisa and Sayaka appeared frozen in place as the abomination shuffled and began to move. It shrieked in a voice which hurt to hear.

“Akemi,” Mami groaned. The monster turned to her but quickly turned away to shuffle outside the classroom and into the halls.

“Miss Akemi,” the professor began, turning to the brunette, “what is that thing?”

“Oh.” Homura smugly grinned. “It’s a wooden hedgehog which I gave the functions of one of my familiars. Ingenious of me to do, if I may say so myself.” Minerva turned to her superior.

“Dumbledore,” she growled, “I refuse to do this, and if the other teachers know what’s good for them, they won’t, either.” Dumbledore raised his hands defensively, but the professor had already stormed out. Then shrieked as she came face to face with the ravenous hedgehog. 

“Gosh, don’t be such a baby,” grumbled Homura.

(In the end, the rest of the professors refused to teach them due to the hedgehog rumor. The school ‘Mayo Sludge’ gained some prestige due to this, however.)

o0o

Finally, it was the day. After a long, anxious wait, the group gathered in the Great Hall. All but Sayaka had put their names in (she couldn’t be trusted), apparently. Kyoko, still sitting at the Gryffindor table, crossed her fingers. Mami did the same at the Ravenclaw table.

“I hope it’s you,” whispered Sayaka to Kyoko, sending a poignant look at the Slytherin table, or more specifically Homura and Nagisa. She still hadn’t forgiven them.

"The champion for Durmstrang," Dumbledore read, "will be Viktor Krum." There were cheers from every table, and even Homura reluctantly clapped. He rose from sitting beside the brunette and headed to a side chamber.   
“I bet he rigged it,” Homura whispered later to Nagisa. “Or hooked it, rather. He could do that with his nose.” The white-haired girl giggled.

"The champion for Beauxbatons," said Dumbledore triumphantly, "is Fleur Delacour!" She stood from her seat at the Ravenclaw table and swept to the side chamber.

“I had no idea he had such a thing for her. What a creep.” Nagisa had to stifle laughter, now, and Homura looked satisfied with the reaction. The cheers were even more overwhelming, and they could see why. She was elegantly beautiful, and Homura’s comment didn’t seem quite out of place. 

“And the champion for *ahem* Mayo Sludge…” The five girl waited with bated breath. “Is Homura Akemi!” Sayaka and Kyoko, who were tilted forward, collapsed with a sigh. Still, they gave an encouraging smile to the devilish girl as she also entered the side chamber.

They didn’t notice the silence so thick you could cut it with the knife, spread it on your bread, and then complain about how much silence you put on it. The cheers when Cedric Diggory was announced were muffled.

What they did hear, though, was the announcement. "Harry Potter is our final champion."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Homura! (Can you tell who my favorite characters are?)

**Author's Note:**

> So.
> 
> This whole thing won't be crack. It'll be my sorry attempts at humor mostly consisting of plot. But quite a lot of it will be crack.
> 
> The magical girl gang won't be op, however. They can't tank spells except those which their dead lich bodies can absorb without harming their souls. The unforgivables won't harm them, however, for reasons to be revealed (or guessed) soon. Hexes and all those things can. 
> 
> Homucifer also won't be able to take on everything. While she could turn Voldemort (at least the part of his remaining soul) into mincemeat, and probably could take on the dragon without too much difficulty as well, she will have some glaring weaknesses and solo fighting WalpurgisNacht would be extremely difficult if possible. 
> 
> (Also, sorry for how short this is. It's really only the prologue, so the rest should be longer, but I won't make promises I'm not sure I can keep.)


End file.
